Facts
Lina Mo/Shutterstock
ByRachel Kiser/
Since 1864, Smirnoff has been crafting legendary vodka for the finest of Russian Czars, plebeians, and lovers of the Smirnoff-inspired co*cktail –– the Moscow Mule. Known not only for their wonderfully intoxicating vodka, the immaculate conception of the Smirnoff Ice smeared itself onto the sticky walls of fraternity and club culture. It not only created a juicy and bubbly malt beverage enjoyed mostly by those under the age of 21, but it has grown up alongside an entire generation of degenerates that used Smirnoff Ices as the arsenal for spontaneous "Icing" debauchery.
Since the Zoomer Smirnoff Ice's birth in 1999, the brand has changed its label, its flavors, and even its demographic. Now, Smirnoff Ices aren't just for sorority ragers and spring break beach kickbacks, but for any reason or season like a child's birthday, a corporate work event, or even a backyard BBQ-turned-mosh pit. It's as hard to pick a favorite Smirnoff Ice like it would be to pick a favorite child, but with the help of other fellow partakers around the internet, and many years of wetting the proverbial Smirnoff Ice whistle, the best and most nauseating flavors have been ranked with the most thorough of journalistic research (that is, until more flavors are released).
16. Hurricane punch
Smirnoff's hurricane punch Ice draws inspiration from the classic Hurricane co*cktail born in New Orleans and crafted using 4 ounces of rum, lime, orange, passionfruit juice, and grenadine for that beach sunset color. Despite its eccentric grenadine hue, it doesn't share a lot of the co*cktail's qualities or even its refreshing tasting notes. Instead, your judgment for making sound drink choices is clouded by Red #5 food coloring and the hope for the next best alcoholic Hawaiian Punch.
In a Youtube video reviewing the fruit punch-style Ice, KyBrewReview determined that this Smirnoff Ice, for lack of a better term, kinda sucks. The color is compared to a melted Red Solo cup with the same plastic aftertaste and on the nose you get hints of Big Red soda, pineapple (definitely not in the original Hurricane co*cktail), and cotton candy. It smells exactly how it tastes with a heaviness that mimics a hopefully mythical pineapple cream soda. It also has one of the worst ratings of any Smirnoff Ice on Untappd with a 2.6 out of five rating, making it a jungle juice even frat bros won't drink.
15. Watermelon mimosa
This brunch-inspired Smirnoff Ice flavor is the juicy drink that will make it feel like 11 o'clock in the morning somewhere. Smirnoff Ice's watermelon mimosa flavor wants to be something that it's not –– refreshing and intoxicating. Yes, its flavor is sweet like a watermelon, but more like a Sour Patch Kids watermelon gummy, and less like a farmer's market watermelon at the peak of summer. Aside from that, the "Prosecco notes" as described on Smirnoff's website don't titillate the palette aside from its nose-tickling carbonation.
One review from Best Tasting Spirits compared the aroma to a melted watermelon Jolly Rancher with a very sweet watermelon flavor that builds up to an even sweeter, yet tart watermelon finish. It would be perfect for a hot summer day if it were more refreshing, even though reviews on Influenster found the beverage to be the right amount of crispy yet tangy like a hard cider. However, if you are looking for something that doesn't taste like juice or watermelon Crush, a watermelon soaked in vodka would be the better option.
14. Triple black
Smirnoff Ice triple black has a fuzzy connection between its name and its flavor profile. The color is neither dark nor stormy, with no signs of blackberries or dark fruit in sight. It does incorporate a unique triple-filtering process when brewing –– hence the "triple." In fact, it's just an emo version of the original Smirnoff Ice with an extra razzle-dazzle of lemon-lime flavor.
The flavors are less tutti frutti and more balanced with notes of acidity and Sprite mixed with well vodka. One review said the triple black flavoreven has a little bit of bite to it without the burn of normal vodka or the gut-wrecking sweetness of other Smirnoff Ice flavors (via Influenster). Despite some fans, it is one of the worst reviewed Smirnoff Ices on Untappd at around a 2.7 out of 5 rating making it the flavor that's only checked in on Untappd to increase your (beer) tick total. In a boozy ocean of lime beverages, especially other Smirnoff Ice flavors, it lacks originality when you can have other more tropical and exotic flavors. Of course, if you want a Sprite-like malt beverage without the sweetness, it's better than a Mike's Hard Lemonade.
13. Peach Bellini
Another brunch-inspired Smirnoff Ice delivers sickeningly sweet results with no Champagne in sight. A typical peach Bellini mixes peach syrup or natural peach puree with Champagne or Prosecco; however, the only fresh fruit you get from the Smirnoff Ice peach Bellini comes from the occasional garnish when mixing it into a co*cktail.
On the Smirnoff website, the flavors described are a blend of peach with notes of raspberry and sparkling champagne, even though the main flavor profile resembles candied peach rings. In a Youtube Smirnoff Ice review, BeerAdventurer described the peachy keen wine cooler as an adult Kool-Aid and soda-like in sweetness like peach Crush or Sunkist. It's something you might buy once, but would never commit to buying a whole six-pack of. One Influenster review said that it initially smelled like a peach orchard in a glass and even wanted more peach flavor, while another described Smirnoff Ice's peach Bellinisas being the perfect drink for those who want to drink straight simple syrup.
12. Strawberry
The taste of fresh strawberries, especially in a ruby red Daiquiri, is unparalleled. The strawberry-flavored Smirnoff Ice tries to emulate those same tropical vibes and flavors down to its fluorescent red color. What it does accomplish is a flavor that is authentically strawberry-esque but more like a really good strawberry puree as opposed to freshly juiced fruit.
Reviews of the product on Drizly'swebsite cite the refreshing yet sweet taste that actually resembles a strawberry as opposed to random amalgams of chemical Red #5 and strawberry-like flavor (even though there's probably some of that in there too). Another review on Influensterdescribed it as the right amount of sweet yet tart, despite it still being incredibly sugary. Overall, it lacks depth and dimension when compared to past strawberry Smirnoff Ice variations, like the strawberry açaí and strawberry lemonade flavors. However, it is very mixable and can add that extra something-something that your at-home strawberry Daiquiri might need.
11. Black cherry
Black cherry is arguably one of the best flavors for any type of beverage from sparkling water to slushes and even hard seltzers. Smirnoff's black cherry-flavored Ice adds another sweet-yet-tart flavor to its wine cooler repertoire with its intense and murky color.
Now, one of the biggest problems with this Smirnoff Ice flavor is how eerily it resembles watered down cough syrup. Its dark and insidious color is nostalgic of childhood arguments and tantrums that lead many children wishing for death by flu as opposed to consuming the mystery medicinal juice. Some reviews on Influenster agreed with the sentiment that it smelled and tasted too much like medicine to enjoy getting drunk, even though drinking cough syrup would probably get you drunk faster. However, those who weren't traumatized by forced flu medication enjoyed this Smirnoff Ice's sour and more savory black cherry flavor, making it the flavor preferred by those who don't like to drink melted candy.
10. Margarita
Are cutting limes too labor intensive? Is buying a margarita mix too much effort? Does the thought of drinking even the smallest droplets of tequila make you want to cradle the toilet for dear life? Then forgoing the blender and buying Smirnoff's margarita Ice would be the more enjoyable option, yet not as good as a homemade margarita.
Its co*cktail-inspired flavor profile is similar to the original Ice flavor in terms of its shared citrus notes except with that touch of saltiness you would find in a margarita-style gose. A review of the product in Drink Hackernotes its intense lemon notes and lack of tequila taste, which can either be a positive or a negative depending on the person. The balance of sweetness and citrus resembles more of a spiked Sprite than a fizzy margarita, but is still better than those premixed happy hour margaritas, especially if you can get past its Mr. Clean smell.
9. Pineapple
Pineapple-flavored beverages can be either hit or miss with flavor profiles ranging from pineapple Fanta to crunchy dehydrated pineapple rings. Sometimes, they can even be so sour you wish you had a watermelon mimosa Smirnoff Ice to wash everything down in its own sugary bath.Smirnoff's pineapple-flavored Ice is a good enough compromise of super sweet and slightly tart, like a candied pineapple ring that will have you craving more, but not enough to finish the six-pack.
Reviews on ChickAdvisorwaffle from being the most delicious Smirnoff Ice flavor to one of the most undrinkable. One reviewer described how they couldn't even finish one bottle due to its gut-punching pineapple flavor, while others loved how refreshing and savory it was. Especially when compared to the Smirnoff pineapple vodka, the Ice version goes down much smoother, thanks to its bubbly demeanor and lack of alcoholic taste. In terms of chuggability though, it's a rough flavor to get Iced with thanks to the instant sugar hangover after.
8. Mango
Mango-flavored drinks are both sweet and savory with juicy notes of fresh fruit in every sip. Smirnoff's mango-flavored Ice is one of those drinks with an interesting blend of mango in addition to passion fruit, sweet melon, and a touch of tartness that isn't overpowering or overly sweet.
Overall, the color looks similar to pineapple Fanta or Calpico mango soda with a touch of Sunny-D. It smells exactly how you would expect it to –– mango with a hint of mango and a tart mango finish. It's pretty much an alcoholic mango soda, except more one-dimensional, unlike their other past Smirnoff flavors like mango chili and peach-mango. One of its most desirable characteristics was discovered in a Reddit thread, which found that the mango Smirnoff Ice and Smirnoff Ices as a whole have more alcohol by volume than the testosterone-powered Bud Light. Bud Light only contains 4.2% abv, while the mango Smirnoff Ice contains 4.5%. It's like comparing pennies to nickels, but small victories like that justify drinking a neon orange wine cooler out of a wine glass.
7. Raspberry
At this point in the ranking list, Smirnoff Ices go from giving a borderline sugar high to just a regular amount of intense sweetness. The raspberry-flavored Smirnoff Ice is the bridge that connects a sugar-filled soda with real fruit flavors. Not only is the raspberry flavor juicy, but it is complimented by a drier and tart finish akin to the original Smirnoff Ice flavor.
One review on TikTok of the raspberry-laced wine cooler explained how it was one of the superior malt beverages in terms of flavor and balance, comparing it identically to Schweppes raspberry (which sounds equally delicious). The body is less syrupy than other Smirnoff Ices not to mention more refreshing and crisp (via Total Wine & More). Another review on Influenster loved how alcohol was not the primary flavor, and revealed that freezing them created a perfectly boozy slushy that could rival any 7/11 cherry co*ke creation.
6. Grape
As with the black cherry Smirnoff Ice, grape is one of those flavors that either tastes like grape Fanta or Robitussin. Especially with its light almost lavender hue, it elicits memories of grape-filled bile that one gets when walking through a store's cold and flu medicine aisle. Even though you almost expect the worst out of it, Smirnoff continues to surprise you with a pleasurable grape-flavored malt beverage that doesn't make you instantly nauseous.
Its flavor is surprisingly juicy and refreshing like a handful of grape-flavored Gushers without the grapiness of wine. In a Youtube video reviewing Smirnoff's grape Ice, it was surprising to see that the grapey wine cooler actually tasted and smelled like grape juice, specifically Welch's, otherwise known as the superior grape juice brand. It's smooth without that alcoholic bite and sweet without being too sweet –– obviously the preferred Smirnoff Ice flavor for adults who grew up drinking grape Nehi and Kool-Aid.
5. Green apple
Honest opinion –– the green apple-flavored Smirnoff Ice is a personal favorite out of any Ice ever indulged. It's everything the other flavors try to emulate but fail slightly at –– both sweet and sour, fruity yet juicy. It doesn't really taste like a green apple, at least not any apple that exists in modern-day reality but more like something that would come from an apple tree in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.
In fact, it probably tastes more like agreen apple Jolly Rancher that has been slowly liquifying underneath a car seat in the middle of summer (via Influenster). It doesn't earn the number one spot for the main reason that it is way too tart to consume in under 15 seconds. Its Jolly Rancher and sour Warhead flavor combination makes being on the receiving end of getting Iced a spicy and unenjoyable experience. However, that doesn't dim its star power as one Total Wine & More review raves about how this Smirnoff Ice flavor is one of the only things that Russia has ever done right.
4. Pink lemonade
Smirnoff's newest pink lemonade Ice isn't something you would find at your average neighborhood lemonade stand — unless it was a cool one. Its pink Starburst color isn't the only thing fun and fruity about it –– its combination of tart lemon juice and red raspberries is the perfect reason to break out the lawn chairs and day drink on a Sunday (or Wednesday) afternoon.
There's a reason why Delish described the pink lemonade wine cooler as summer in a glass –– its refreshing mixture of sugary sweetness and tartness makes for a dangerously intoxicating poolside libation that rivals the equally iconic Mike's Hard malt lemonade. In a Youtube review, the pink lemonade flavor matches up to the description with more raspberry flavor initially and then shifts into the tartness of the lemonade. It's also less malty and overpowering than other Smirnoff flavors, including its classic raspberry, thanks to the citrus flavor that gives it that much-needed sugar reprieve.
3. Red, white and berry
Nothing is more American than a sugary and colorful malt beverage marketed and capitalized for the quintessential American holiday for day drinking. The red, white and berry-flavored Smirnoff Ice's complexion mimics blue curaçao, but without the artificial mandarin orange flavor. In fact, it tastes like everything but oranges, with a blend of mystery citrus, cherry, and blue raspberry with notes of independence, freedom, and performative patriotism.
Its flavor profile is more complex than its Hawaiian Punch hue; initially, there are notes of maraschino cherries and the taste eventually transforms into Rose's sweetened lime juice and a blue raspberry slushy. Reviews on Total Wine & More's website instantly made the connection that the festive Smirnoff Ice flavor tasted like a Bomb Pop popsicle, a blue raspberry Slush Puppy, and the unofficial palette cleanser of summer –– the red, white, and blue-layered Rocket Pop. It's also the highest reviewed and rated Smirnoff Ice flavor on Untappd with over 11,000 check-ins –– if only Smirnoff took advantage of the play on words and named the flavor red, white, and brew.
2. Original
It's hard to even describe what the original Smirnoff flavor tastes like other than regret, missed lectures, never ending hangovers, and an ultra carbonated version of Sprite misted with lemon vodka. It never really mattered and until writing this, it only mattered if you were getting Iced with it. More importantly, it represents ridiculous memories and life lessons filled by a game of chugging wine coolers while on one knee Tim Tebow-style for good ole fun.
Again, the Smirnoff original Ice flavor is like eating Taco Bell –– it's one of those things where you don't really want to know what's in it, but also don't care how it ruins your life later. One hilarious Reddit thread breaks down the unfiltered tasting profile of the generation's most infamous drink, starting with its cloudy appearance that looks slightly liked water mixed with Miralax, and notes of lemon wood polish and the leaves of a grapefruit tree. It makes so much sense that it tastes like Squirt soda with hints of tart grapefruit juice, angostura bitters, and early-onset diabetes. We could divulge in its tasting notes and mouth feel till we grow glazed in the eyes, but the only thing that matters to the next generation of Smirnoff Ice drinkers is that it's alcoholic, easily chug-able, and the punch line of a funny story.
1. Screwdriver
Jane Rix/Shutterstock
This number one pick may be a controversial one, but at least hold the pitch forks and torches until you finish reading the paragraph. Yes, the original and ever patriotic Smirnoff Ice flavors are incredibly mediocre and special in their own way, and even flavors like watermelon mimosa and peach Bellini are number one in the hearts of MLM girl boss moms across the Midwest and lower East Coast. The Smirnoff Ice Screwdriver is not perfect, but the just-right compromise of sweet yet tart, chug-able yet enjoyable, and fruity yet smooth enough to drink by the six-pack.
There's no doubt that it tastes exactly like a Screwdriver, a co*cktail made with vodka and orange juice, except with only half a shot of vodka per drink. It's not heavy and pulpy like most Screwdrivers can get the more you drink, and maintains a solid buzz with a possible boost of daily Vitamin C (not backed by actual medicine). Some reviews on Influenster even compared it to a spiked Sunny D which is a major win for Y2K babies everywhere. If we are being honest here, no Smirnoff flavor is going to be the best-of-the-best, but the best of what you are willing to accept as an iconic beverage no one wants to admit they kinda like.
Stay thirsty, and start planting Ices for your loved ones to find on their way to work.
